You don’t look FAT. You aren’t FAT Sisterhood of the Traveling Fug
Maybe the reason that Amber Tamblyn looks so cranky here is that she just realized that her outfit is really unflattering.
And, Amber, I’m concerned. You seem like you might be fun to hang out with. I suspect that you’re the sort of girl who does shots with glee and then gets all rowdy and mildly violent, but in the fun way that involves shoving handsy guys and then yelling at the rest of the bar patrons to mind their own business, not the scary way where you eventually have to get bailed out of the drunk tank. Which begs the question: where are your friends? At some point, I imagine you tried on this look for someone. And that person should have said, “Hmmmm. I don’t know if I would wear those TOGETHER.” And you would have looked at yourself in the mirror again and said, “really?” And your friend would have said, “Yeah. I think you need a tighter top with that skirt. Or a slimmer bottom with that jacket.” And then you would have said, “are you telling me that I look fat?” And your friend would have said, “You don’t look FAT. You aren’t FAT. No. But these two sort of puffy items kind of hide your waist in a way that isn’t super flattering. Do you know what I mean?” And then you would have changed, and while you were in your walk-in closet looking for a tighter top/slimmer bottom, your friend would have thrown those shoes out the window, because three people can wear an ankle strap that thick and all of them are walking on a runway somewhere right now. And because none of this happened, obviously, I am worried about your peeps, Amber. They need to step up and help a girl out sometimes. That’s the beauty of girlfriends.
And, Amber, I’m concerned. You seem like you might be fun to hang out with. I suspect that you’re the sort of girl who does shots with glee and then gets all rowdy and mildly violent, but in the fun way that involves shoving handsy guys and then yelling at the rest of the bar patrons to mind their own business, not the scary way where you eventually have to get bailed out of the drunk tank. Which begs the question: where are your friends? At some point, I imagine you tried on this look for someone. And that person should have said, “Hmmmm. I don’t know if I would wear those TOGETHER.” And you would have looked at yourself in the mirror again and said, “really?” And your friend would have said, “Yeah. I think you need a tighter top with that skirt. Or a slimmer bottom with that jacket.” And then you would have said, “are you telling me that I look fat?” And your friend would have said, “You don’t look FAT. You aren’t FAT. No. But these two sort of puffy items kind of hide your waist in a way that isn’t super flattering. Do you know what I mean?” And then you would have changed, and while you were in your walk-in closet looking for a tighter top/slimmer bottom, your friend would have thrown those shoes out the window, because three people can wear an ankle strap that thick and all of them are walking on a runway somewhere right now. And because none of this happened, obviously, I am worried about your peeps, Amber. They need to step up and help a girl out sometimes. That’s the beauty of girlfriends.
