SOME kind of silver lining.The Sisterhood of the Fuggeling Pants
How ironic that the girls who could most use a pair of magical, thought-free, perfect-fitting pants are in fact the stars of a movie about a pair of magical, thought-free, perfect-fitting pants.
First up: Blake Lively, who — let’s get this out in the open right now — is wearing a romper. And yet, despite my distaste for rompers, I almost let her slip by since she seemed to look so generally (and comparatively) adorable.
Almost.
Are we sure this wasn’t a dress that she stapled to her underwear so that she wouldn’t flash anyone? I realize that putting metal prongs that close to your promised land is not for the faint of heart, but I’m not sure how else to explain the unsightly bunching. Or, perhaps it’s that I don’t WANT to understand it, because there is no explanation that doesn’t make me wince. I guess the bright side is, she has awesome legs to distract people from the crotch crater; hey, when your romper has cleaved to your inner thigh, there had better be
SOME kind of silver lining.
And then there’s Amber Tamblyn. First she betrayed our faith with that jumpsuit, and now she’s betraying herself with this:
Listen, Amber, you are lovely. But for most of us, there is a time and a place for short-shorts: laundry day, in the safety of your house, while you are watching your stockpile of In Plain Sight episodes and trying to figure out what the duck is going on with Mary McCormack’s upper lip. You’ll note that nowhere in there did I mention going on TRL with a see-through shirt jammed into your shorts with military precision, then paired with an old cardigan that Mr. Rogers rejected because it made him look like a grandfather.
Frankly, I expected better from you, Amber. For God’s sake, you’re dating David “Tobias Fumke” Cross, the world’s most famous never-nude. If he can’t teach you the basics of when and where to sport tight-and-tinies, NO ONE can.
First up: Blake Lively, who — let’s get this out in the open right now — is wearing a romper. And yet, despite my distaste for rompers, I almost let her slip by since she seemed to look so generally (and comparatively) adorable.
Almost.
Are we sure this wasn’t a dress that she stapled to her underwear so that she wouldn’t flash anyone? I realize that putting metal prongs that close to your promised land is not for the faint of heart, but I’m not sure how else to explain the unsightly bunching. Or, perhaps it’s that I don’t WANT to understand it, because there is no explanation that doesn’t make me wince. I guess the bright side is, she has awesome legs to distract people from the crotch crater; hey, when your romper has cleaved to your inner thigh, there had better be
SOME kind of silver lining.
And then there’s Amber Tamblyn. First she betrayed our faith with that jumpsuit, and now she’s betraying herself with this:
Listen, Amber, you are lovely. But for most of us, there is a time and a place for short-shorts: laundry day, in the safety of your house, while you are watching your stockpile of In Plain Sight episodes and trying to figure out what the duck is going on with Mary McCormack’s upper lip. You’ll note that nowhere in there did I mention going on TRL with a see-through shirt jammed into your shorts with military precision, then paired with an old cardigan that Mr. Rogers rejected because it made him look like a grandfather.
Frankly, I expected better from you, Amber. For God’s sake, you’re dating David “Tobias Fumke” Cross, the world’s most famous never-nude. If he can’t teach you the basics of when and where to sport tight-and-tinies, NO ONE can.
