Even though we largely ignore all of them now, I still remember all those old fashion rules people used to follow — no white after Labor Day/before Easter Sunday, no navy and black or black and brown together, don’t wear black to a wedding or red to a funeral… They’re all things of the past now — well, except for the “no red at funerals” thing, unless maybe you are on a soap opera, or are a complete bitch; preferably both — but they pop up every now and then in my head so that I can chuckle at how stressed out I used to be about when I could resume plans to steal my sister’s white pumps, and shove tissue in the toes so that they’d be my size.
One principle did stick in my mind a little more solidly, though, and that is the notion that red and pink are clashing colors. While obviously this can work in some specific patterns, I still find myself turned off by certain deployments of them together. Enter Mrs. Longoria-Parker:
These two just colors patched together in such brutal blocks make my head throb. I hope she is carrying some Advil in her purse. It might have been nice of her to throw fistfuls of it at her adoring public.
Oddly, the whole thing reminds me of a box of Nerds. You know, the way they’d separate two different flavors (cinnamon and peppermint, cherry and watermelon) in one box. Nerds were the greatest greatest candy discovery of my sixth- and seventh-grade life, right up there with Pixy Styx. But that doesn’t mean I am loving watching Eva trot around in a color-scheme homage to those brave little cavity nuggets. Willy Wonka makes a mean sweet treat, but he’s hardly a competent stylist.