MARIO LOPEZ: EVA LP! WHAT UP!
EVA LONGORIA-PARKER: Hey, Mario.
MARIO: Hey, I’ve got an awesome idea. Let’s talk about ME.
EVA: Okay. What’s new?
MARIO: Nothing.
EVA: Then why did you want to talk about yourself?
MARIO: To avoid talking about what you’re wearing.
EVA: What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?
MARIO: You’ve got GREAT LEGS.
EVA: That’s…wrong?
MARIO: I’m just avoiding the question. Hey, did you know that the Tampa Bay Rays have a player named EVAN Longoria? Every time he –
EVA: Yeah. I KNOW. Trust me. But, seriously, I thought this dress was kind of cute.
MARIO: Tim Gunn would say it’s a whooooole lotta look.
EVA: I don’t know if I trust a dude who spent like fifteen years wearing tank tops and patterned Hammer pants on morning television to give me style advice, honestly. You, I mean. I would trust Tim Gunn.
MARIO: It also makes me think you might have a bun in the oven.
EVA: Seriously? You’re going there?
MARIO: I do work for Extra now. So, how about an exclusive, old friend? Got cookies in your jar? Is there a tuna fish sandwich in your lunchbox? Have you got soup simmering in your Thermos? How many olives are in your martini?
EVA: THOSE AREN’T REAL EUPHEMISMS.
MARIO: But seriously.
EVA: I don’t like you anymore.