Celebrity Terror Watch: Burnt-Sienna Starlets Although in Jamie-Lynn’s case
Summer is here, and that can only mean one thing: Young ladies spray themselves various shades of orange-brown in an attempt to look sun-kissed, when in reality it’s more like “pelted with overripe kumquats.”
Exhibit A: Amanda Bynes.
Pretty girl, lovely figure, ridiculous fake tan.
Exhibit B: Jamie-Lynn Sigler.
Pretty girl, lovely figure, ridiculous fake tan. I sense a pattern here. And while I appreciate and advocate not lying in the sun for hours frying skin to a crisp, thus practically issuing a double-dog-dare to skin cancer, I will never understand the temptation to douse oneself in Crayola-false colors like a piece of bare wall getting tagged with graffiti.
Although in Jamie-Lynn’s case, some of her atrocious artificial brownness might come from having been doused in syrup by a confused, hungry passer-by who — thanks to the cut of that dress — mistook her breasts for pancakes.
Exhibit A: Amanda Bynes.
Pretty girl, lovely figure, ridiculous fake tan. Exhibit B: Jamie-Lynn Sigler.
Pretty girl, lovely figure, ridiculous fake tan. I sense a pattern here. And while I appreciate and advocate not lying in the sun for hours frying skin to a crisp, thus practically issuing a double-dog-dare to skin cancer, I will never understand the temptation to douse oneself in Crayola-false colors like a piece of bare wall getting tagged with graffiti.
Although in Jamie-Lynn’s case, some of her atrocious artificial brownness might come from having been doused in syrup by a confused, hungry passer-by who — thanks to the cut of that dress — mistook her breasts for pancakes.
