READER QUESTION: SHOULD I WEAR LOLITA FASHION? DEALING WITH TEASING, PARENTS DISAPPROVING OF GOTHLOLI. people making fun of gothic lolitas, teasing, loli fail, lolita fail, Japanese harajuku flyers, pretty lolita models, budget fashion egl community, livejournal lolita, cgl 4chan
Dear La Carmina,
I would like some advice on something. My question is whether or not to go Lolita. You see, I would really love to go into the fashion, but I’m sorta scared (although it does help a little bit to be able to read some of the Japanese sites). Partially because I’m afraid my parents wouldn’t approve and if it happens, teasing. Not only that, but I’m only 13 (which makes me have no income and no possibility to get a job) and I live on the East Coast (where there is not much influence from japan). I really appreciate any advice you have on the matter (and, THANK YOU for having such an awesome blog).
- Signed, A troubled Reader

READER QUESTION: SHOULD I WEAR LOLITA FASHION? DEALING WITH TEASING, PARENTS DISAPPROVING OF GOTHLOLI. people making fun of gothic lolitas, teasing, loli fail, lolita fail, Japanese harajuku flyers, pretty lolita models, budget fashion egl community, livejournal lolita, cgl 4chan
Dear reader,
Please don’t be troubled! Lolita isn’t scary, and wearing the fashion doesn’t have to be like jumping off a bridge. As with any journey, the best way to go forth is by taking baby steps and enjoying every moment of the ride.
I personally don’t think that “entering into Lolita” is an all-or-nothing leap. There’s no rulebook that states you must own certain items or wear expensive Japanese brands to enter this lovely world. Instead, you can make Lolita a part of your life in many small ways. And the further you explore this wonderland, the more your confidence will grow.
READER QUESTION: SHOULD I WEAR LOLITA FASHION? DEALING WITH TEASING, PARENTS DISAPPROVING OF GOTHLOLI. people making fun of gothic lolitas, teasing, loli fail, lolita fail, Japanese harajuku flyers, pretty lolita models, budget fashion egl community, livejournal lolita, cgl 4chan
No pocket money? No access to Tokyo Lolita brands like Victorian Maiden? None of these should stop you from celebrating Lolita in your own personal way. Take, for example, Gothloli of the Week Anastasiya who is from Russia. She says, “I try to do my best with what I’ve got. Like making my bedroom as cute as possible.” You can do the same: put Mana-sama photos on your wall (like I did), kawaii toys on your bed, hand-made candy and crucifix necklaces on the wall.
Or you can also make tiny “tips of the hat” to Lolita fashion in your daily wear. For example, you might wear a big bow in your hair, or doll eyelashes, or a cute dress similar to the ones in the Milk catalogue above. My friends and I like to mix Lolita influences into our clothes; we don’t believe you have to look like an Angelic Pretty model in order to genuinely enjoy the fashion.
READER QUESTION: SHOULD I WEAR LOLITA FASHION? DEALING WITH TEASING, PARENTS DISAPPROVING OF GOTHLOLI. people making fun of gothic lolitas, teasing, loli fail, lolita fail, Japanese harajuku flyers, pretty lolita models, budget fashion egl community, livejournal lolita, cgl 4chan
What about teasing and family disapproval? I’m not going to lie to you – even in the most open-minded cities, you’ll encounter stares and harsh words when you wear alternative fashion. But my friends and I keep strong because we must! Holding back this means of self-expression would crush us; it would reduce us to shells of ourselves. And you’ll discover a type of magic in having a “crew of spooks”, loving alternative fashion/lifestyles and celebrating it together. It’s something that someone in a Polo shirt would never experience.
But all that will come later. Remember, trying Lolita fashion shouldn’t feel like a fall down a hill, but a stroll through a rose garden. You can make Loli a part of your life in many subtle ways. So take your time, feel it out and let it slowly enrich your life. Good luck!
Everyone, what would you advise to this reader? How do you make Lolita fashion a part of your life?
If you have a question for La Carmina, email me (gothiccarmina {at} gmail) and I’ll answer it in a blog post. You can read my previous responses to Reader Questions here. (All the above images are flyers I picked up in Tokyo and Osaka.)
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