You might want to apply some SPF 45 before we begin.

Now that we've caught up a little bit on fashion week, it's time to look at the Project Runway finale show collections that have since been revealed to be decoys. We'll do Casanova today, Michael D tomorrow (probably) and then each designer as they get elminated straight through to the final three.

God bless him, Casanova was quite the entertaining character this season, but we can't say we ever really got excited over his work. Veering as he did from demure to downright slutty, it was difficult to get a handle on who he really is as a designer. Looking at this glittering collection of labiatastic disco clothes, we can pretty definitively say that yes, Casanova prefers to make the slutty clothes. He introduced this collection by saying it was inspired by his grandmother, to which we can only say he must have one hell of a grandmother. We'd like to party with her some time.

Let's start the show.



The top we can live with. It's a little bit gypsy meets calypso, but with the right styling and pairing, it could be cute. This is not the right styling and pairing. First off, don't even ask us about the makeup. Not going there. It's cray cray and that's that. Secondly, the gyno-jeans. We like a disco-fabulous pair of Gloria Vanderbilts as much as the next queen, but these are just way too tight and the fit in the crotch is, let's all say it now, "insane."

Same pair of crotchpants, now with the extra added flavor of boobs! Boobs with no support so they're heading off in opposite directions! Casanova's grandmother, you must be a sight to behold. Plus! Tips on how to turn old Christmas ornaments into jewelry!



The top isn't bad. It's not great, but it's not bad. He's basically repeating the top that got him a win in the competition. The pants? The usual yeast-infection-inducing gold nightmare.


The top is okay. Very drapey, which is something else he likes to do a lot. The shorts are kind of awful. He's mimicking the bridesmaid challenge entry, right down to the inner thigh ribbing. He's very all about a woman's area, if you know what we mean.


A similar, kind of dull draped top with not a lot of interest. We can honestly say that those pants, with the straps and the cutouts, are kinda sorta interesting. It's like the germ of a design idea that isn't quite there yet. As it is, it's more than a little inelegant.


Pretty dull and basic.




Ugly top, ugly pants. Another retread of his bridesmaid challenge entry.


Why he didn't fasten the straps on the pants, we don't know, but this, again, almost works. It's the only element in the collection that we respond to and wish he had developed more.



Yes, hotpants studded with little moons and stars. Does that not say class or what? That belt is awful but the top isn't bad.


And how else do you follow up a studded crotch and ass than with studded boobs? Darlings, it's practically de rigeur.






Look, we tried to give it some consideration, but come on. This is tacky. There's no use in dancing around it. There were one or two pieces that might have worked if paired with pieces that weren't quite so tight or skin-baring or shiny, but the whole thing is a disco explosion. If he's happy and this really expresses who he is as a designer, then good for him, but it's definitely not our cup of tea.

[Photo Credit: getty/wireimage]