Line up, boys!

Darlings, here are the men. Unfortunately, that's about all we have to say. No, really. We tried, but since 99.999% of them are in black tuxedoes, there's just not a lot to talk about. Some fit well; some didn't. Some wore a tie; some wore a bow tie. Shoutout to Harry Shum for his plaid shirt, which we loved. A salute from our pants to Ryan Gosling, who, against all reason, pulls off a velvet tuxedo and looks damn hot. That little Bieber blastocyst acquitted himself well and we don't mind the footwear. A plea to Jon Hamm to hire a stylist, because he always looks a mess. Ditto to Robert Downey Jr. Almost all of them could have taken an inch or two off the hem of their pants. And that's about it.

Oh, and Christian Bale looked like a crazy person. But we are terribly narrow-minded about black shirts with suits or tuxedos. It instantly reeks of organized crime.

Enjoy the eye candy!

Alec Baldwin


Alex Pettyfer in Giorgio Armani


Andrew Garfield in Emporio Armani


Blair Underwood


Brad Pitt in Tom Ford


Brian Austin Green in Giorgio Armani


Chris Evans in Gucci

Chord Overstreet in Giorgio Armani


Chris Colfer in Simon Spurr


Chris Hemsworth in Giorgio Armani


Chris Noth


Christian Bale in Dolce & Gabbana


Colin Firth in Tom Ford


Darren Criss in Giorgio Armani


Garrett Hedlund


Guy Pearce


Harry Shum Jr.


Jake Gyllenhaal in Burberry


Jeremy Renner


Jesse Eisenberg in Dolce & Gabbana


Jim Parsons


Jimmy Jean-Louis


Johnny Depp in Ralph Lauren Black Label


Jon Hamm

Joseph Gordon-Lewitt in Prada

Justin Bieber in D&G


Kevin McHale


Kevin Spacey


Mark Salling in Simon Spurr


Mark Wahlberg


Matt Bomer in Tom Ford

Matthew Morrison in Dolce & Gabbana


Peter Facinelli


Ricky Gervais


Robert Downey Jr. in Prada


Robert Pattinson in Gucci


Ryan Gosling in Ferragamo


Ryan Kwanten in Hugo Boss


Scott Caan


Steve Antin


Warren Beatty in Tom Ford


Zac Efron in Calvin Klein


Zachary Levi
[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]